learning selflessness (and it doesn't always look pretty)

Let me be honest for a second, today didn't go exactly how I planned. Spring break is coming to a close and I couldn't wait to hang out at my favorite coffee shop all day. I slept in this morning, was gonna go to Octane and work on my resume, fill out my Haiti application, do things for me. Then my mom called me. I had to drop all I was planning to do to come spend some time with my 92 year old grandmother.

I thought to myself while on the phone, "don't be selfish, Kathryn, don't be selfish!" And said, "ok mom, what do you need me to do?" Woo, that took a lot. I can't lie. But I've learned. I've learned that this life, it isn't for me. I'm not living it for me -- at least I shouldn't be. I'm living it for HIM, for others. And right then I knew I had to come straight to my grandmothers assisted living home and spend my day with her. And I'm so glad I did. I've just sat with her, talked with her, and kept her company while she slept. Now I'll be rushing to work for 5 hours, but that's okay. Because once again, I'm here on earth to serve, to love, to disciple. And if that's what sitting with my grandmother all day looks like, bring it on!

The Lord has constantly shown me who I am. Who HE is and how I can mirror that. It hasn't looked pretty AT ALL.  But today, I can say, I'm so glad I'm living for Him and not myself.