believing vs. knowing

"No longer am I held by the yoke of this world. Come upon you the yoke of Jesus. His yoke is easy; His burden is so light." -- Take a Moment by Will Reagan & United Pursuit Band

Processing. So much processing. 

I ask the Lord to show up and it's not that He doesn't show up..  

It's the doubt.

the disbelief.

the shame.

the distrust. 

It's the sin. 

That's the problem.

The solution? Christ!

The solution to our doubt, disbelief, shame, distrust, and so much more is always going to be Christ. 

So, why do we run from Him? Stiiill wrestling with that.

Even though I know that it's simple: we were not meant for this world. 

But how do we live life knowing we will sin, but constantly striving not to sin?! 

See my problem here?!

SO, what have I learned from this? 

Well, I get angry with God and don't understand Him. 

I desire things that He doesn't want for me to have right now. 

Cause He's teaching me that my joy comes from Him and Him alone. 

Nothing else. Nothing else in this world can give me even close to the type of joy and fulfillment He gives. And I know that's what He wants me to see.

And He also knows I'm struggling to believe that.. even though I know it's true. 

Why do we do that? We know things are true without a doubt.. but we still doubt them. 

If you're thinking, "dang, she's complicated?!" Well, I am. I can't even figure myself out. Haha. But that's okay! Totally okay. That's part of the journey. 

The Lord tells us we have been justified (Romans 5:1), that all things work together for our good (Romans 8:28), that we are adopted as His child (Ephesians 1:5), that there is a purpose for our sufferings (Ephesians 3:13) and SO much more. (See full list here.) 

Yet, I still live in slight disbelief. 

Honestly, I think "God tells me I can be happy without a spouse, but really that's not true!" 

And really, my thoughts aren't true. They just aren't. 

Fact: Ultimately, forever&always, the Lord is ALL I need. 

I just have to work on fully believing that. 

Knowing and believing are two different things. 

Knowing is more of just knowledge. "Oh yeah, I knew that."

Believing is faith. 

Faith in the unseen.

Faith in the unknown.

Faith in a God who has our WHOLE life in His hands and takes care of us with a love way beyond our imagination. 

So, this week (and many weeks to come) my goal is to believe so much more than I think I "know."

Will you join me in this journey? 

Because I know I cannot do it alone.