it aches for the nations.
for haiti. for japan.
i have not been able to get them off my mind the past couple days.
and my heart literally aches.
i wanna be back.
i so badly want to be back.
but i know, for right now, God has me here.. in birmingham.
but what am i to do with an aching heart?
i pray. i think about them constantly.
it's so hard to know i went then left. i feel like i need to do so much more.
even while in japan. i was there for 3 months. but i left.
and that's it.
we leave.
that sucks like no other.
lemme just say straight up.
it sucks.
why?
why did God place me here and them there?
why are they hurting? physically hurting from things they cannot control on a daily basis.
while we are here.
earting. drinking. living. shopping.
i mean, i hear stories like this on a regular basis: a lady is in Vapor buying some things for her home. and she talks about how this picture she bought will go perfectly with her summer theme in her room. she has a bed spread, picture for above her bed, and decorations for each season. she finally got a bed spread that matches each season so she doesn't have to keep buying new ones.
i know i'm not supposed to judge. and that's not what i'm not doing. at least that's not what i'm intending to do. it is just merely a perfect example.
we are worried about different bed spreads/decorations to match the season and people in Japan are having to recover from their houses being completely washed away or demolished.. even after almost 2 years. people in Haiti.. they are lucky if they get one full meal a day.
i'm just hurting.
i dont necessary go buy bed spreads but i buy plenty of other unnecessary things.
why did God place us in a world with endless amounts of everything and then have places like Haiti?
i dont understand. it's so hard to wrap my head around.
it's like one extreme or the other.
i have no choice but to trust God.
Lord, what is my place?
what do i do with an aching heart?
what do i do?
what do i NOT do?
what?
i have a strong feeling God has called me to missions. most definitely.
what that will look like, i'm not sure yet.
but it's slowly falling into place.. and becoming so real trip by trip.
i'm so thankful.
today this little girl came in with her mom. she is one years old and she was just adopted from Uganda. there is no doubt about it.. i'm adopting from another country. i'm going to go on a trip and end up coming home with a child. i almost did in Haiti. haha.
this is me. pouring out my heart.
if you have any advice or words of wisdom.. i'll take them. because i seriously ache and i don't know how to handle it. i don't.
i just wanna cry. that's all i know to do.
God, take care of the beautiful people of Japan and Haiti.
i wanna be there. helping to take care of them. being your hands and feet.
i want to so bad.
but since i cannot right now.
i know i can trust that You are.
thank You for the passion You've given me for the nations.
thank You.
You're world.. it's such a beautiful thing.
thank you. thank you.
thank you for allowing me to go to Japan and Haiti.
i feel so honored to be your hands and feet in those countries!
thank you.
friends, pray with me?
both countries God has sent me to have been affected by a tsunami and/or earthquake.
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